Confused

Strange feelings are coming out tonight. I just don't know the reason, but I feel quite lost. It's like I went back in time for five years and I've became the same 15-years-old girl who wanted to dedicate her life to a cause, and I mean her whole life: every month, every week, every single minute of it. So I guess that's the reason I can't sleep; I really need to focus on what I'm doing and begin to take it seriously. It's not like I'm doing nothing, it's just that I feel like I'm not "devoting" myself on that, and some part of me really needs to do it.
Anyway, that's not the whole problem. I've realised that some of the old fears I had have appeared again, and they're driving me crazy. And I don't want to deal with all that fucking shit one more time. I feel strenghthless, but I still know that I am not.
I don't know.
I just wanna cry all the night long and keep setting goals to reach. I hope that helps at least a little bit.